Recovering from surgery trauma isn’t just about healing your body—it’s about reclaiming your mind, emotions, and confidence. If you’ve experienced surgical trauma, you know that the emotional scars can linger long after the physical one’s fade. Anxiety, anger, flashbacks, and feeling disconnected with yourself and your body, become daily struggles.
I’ve been there. When I was four, I spent a year in the hospital undergoing experimental surgeries to correct hip dysplasia. My legs were broken, reset, and left me with long scars—reminders of trauma my tiny mind could not compute. For years, I was ashamed of my scars hiding them with long shorts and baggy jumpers, afraid of people looking at them, or God forbid, asking me about them! I carried shame, anxiety, and emotional turmoil. I couldn’t stop my emotions building up inside me, exploding into uncontrollable rages. My nearest and dearest often catching the worst of.
In my adolescence and into adulthood, I continued self-destructive behaviours. Feeling completely disconnected from my inner self, numb, I constantly chased the next high. I chased danger and excitement just so I could feel a little more alive, unable to perceive the risks I was taking. My actions replayed my trauma as I repeatedly made decisions that gravitated me back to the hospital. Stuck in a cycle, no one gave me tools to heal my mental wounds.
When Enough is Enough
Fast forward to my 30s, and I finally said, ENOUGH. I can’t let my past dictate my future. Every hospital visit, I was so lucky it wasn’t my last. So lucky I could still walk and would fight another day. Unquestionably, this pattern had to stop before it stopped me. Eventually, the time came to confront my inner child, my past trauma, and the emotions I had long ignored. I realized that if I didn’t make a choice to change, my past would inevitably shape my future.
Now, after years of self-discovery and growth, I want to share the strategies that have helped me—and countless others—move forward.
Grounding Techniques to Calm Overwhelm and Flashbacks
Addressing Trauma Response: Overwhelm, Anxiety, and Flashbacks
Trauma can pull you back into the past, leaving you overwhelmed or disconnected. Grounding techniques help you regain control by reconnecting to the present moment.
Grounding techniques often use the five senses—sound, touch, smell, taste, and sight—to immediately connect you with the here and now. The grounding techniques that work for each person are deeply personal. There is no point attempting a technique such as rubbing lotion of your hands and focusing on the sensations if you have an aversion to creams. Grounding is a technique where you introduce an action that instantly distracts you from what’s going on in your mind, connecting you back to the present.
At the same time, grounding reduces the likelihood that you will slip into a flashback or dissociation.
Here is my favourite grounding technique:
- The Box Breathing Method: Use your whole diaphragm to breathe; this increases the flow of oxygen in your body. Inhale to expand your stomach; exhale to push the air out from your stomach. Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4 and exhale for 4, hold for 4. Do this 10 times. This simple breathing technique soothes your nervous system and reduces anxiety.
Why it works: These practices stop panic or flashbacks in their tracks, calming both your mind and body.
Self-Compassion to Let Go of Guilt and Anger
Addressing Trauma Response: Guilt, Self-Blame, and Frustration
Surgical trauma can bring anger or guilt—toward yourself, your body, or even your recovery. Practicing self-compassion helps you rewrite those harsh internal stories. However, I found that before I can practice self-compassion, I needed to forgive myself. I needed let go of the resentment I held towards myself, for the decisions I made that enforced my feelings of worthlessness. Reconnect with my body and forgive myself for the abuse I had put her through.
Here are some of the techniques I have used:
- Self-Forgiveness: Wrap your arms around yourself, breath and think of one moment you want to ask from forgiveness for. I have many more than one but doing more than one at a time is incredibly overwhelming. Hold the moment in your mind. While you hold yourself say outload, “I’m sorry, I love you and I forgive you”. I help this resonate through my body I often rub my arms as I say it. I repeat myself as many times as I need until I feel a sense of calm. I release my body, open my arms and push a strong exhale out, freeing the emotions from my body. An upgrade to this technique is to look into a mirror, lock eyes with yourself and say, “I’m sorry, I love you and I forgive you.” However, this is insanely hard. I would only suggest attempting it once you feel strong enough and are in a safe emotional state. I do this once every 6 months.
- Reframe Negative Self-Talk: Replace thoughts like “I should be over this” with “I am healing at my own pace.”
- Daily Affirmations: Use empowering phrases like “I am strong, I am healing, I am resilient.”
Why it works: Self-compassion shifts blame into understanding, helping you accept your journey with kindness.
Journaling Prompts to Process Suppressed Emotions
Addressing Trauma Response: Triggers, Bottled-Up Emotions, and Mental Overload
Unprocessed emotions can manifest as anxiety, anger, or feeling stuck. Journaling provides a safe space to release these emotions and gain clarity.
- Explore Your Trauma: Use prompts like “What emotions do I feel most often?”, “Where do these feelings come from?”, “Are these feelings attached to my present or my past?” and “What would it feel like to let go of these feelings?” or “What does healing look like to me?” I do not do these every day, but if I am having a day where I am stuck in self-loathing or self-sabotaging I do. To keep me focused on the present and away from negative thought processes, I practice gratitude every morning. At night, I write 3 things I am grateful for from the day. This reminds me of how life really is, rather than letting my mind wander to past indiscretions and reliving shame.
- Identify Patterns: Write about your triggers—what situations, people, or memories bring up pain? Understanding patterns helps you manage them.
Why it works: Journaling helps you untangle complex emotions, giving you a clearer path toward healing.
Gentle Movement to Release Physical and Emotional Tension
Addressing Trauma Response: Physical Stiffness, Anxiety, and Disconnection
Trauma often gets stored in the body, causing tension, discomfort, and disconnection. Simple, mindful movement can help you reconnect with your body and release stored stress.
- Relaxing Stretches: Gentle stretches like Child’s Pose, Cat-Cow, or seated forward folds calm your body and reduce tension. If you want something a little more energetic, I do sun salutations, as it activates all my muscles and opens my body. I feel this releases tension, and the added concentration I need to balance helps me connect to how my body feels.
- Mindful Walking or Chi Gong: Low-impact movement promotes both physical healing and mental calmness. Each morning, I walk while practising gratitude. Firstly, I notice the air moving around me, through my fingers, on my face and say outload “I am grateful for the wind on my face.” Afterwards, I name and say thanks for the sounds I can hear and the nature I see. Finally, I speak out what my intentions are that day, so my mind is aware of what needs to be done. This sets a calm and present state first thing in the morning and supports productivity throughout the day.
Why it works: Movement helps release trauma-related tension while encouraging you to reconnect with your body in a safe, gentle way.
Find Connection and Support to Combat Isolation
Addressing Trauma Response: Loneliness, Shame, and Feeling Misunderstood
Surgical trauma can leave you feeling isolated, as if no one truly understands. Finding support reminds you that you’re not alone.
- Join Online Communities: Connect with others who share similar experiences—healing happens when we feel seen and understood. However, choose wisely. Not all will help you heal and grow. Some communities can unintentionally suck you in and lead to trauma bonding that keeps you in your trauma state.
- Seek Trauma-Informed Therapy: A professional can help guide you through the mental and emotional aspects of recovery. I still find it very hard to trust professionals. I think this is due to my first perception of doctors being warped as a child that they only give pain. However, I do believe in talking about your experiences and being able to articulate them is the key to healing. Try finding a therapist who has specific experience with medical and surgical traumas. It’s much easier to trust someone’s help if they have experienced what you are talking about.
- Access Resources: Books, guided meditations, and support groups offer tools for deeper healing. The book “The Body Keeps Score” is incredibly useful in understanding trauma responses and how they impact your body and mind. I find learning and understanding my trauma puts me at a place of power and self-discovery. It can be painful but liberating. I do not like being medicated. I feel this makes symptoms more manageable but there’s no release, just distraction.
Why it works: Connection provides validation, support, and a reminder that healing is possible—and you’re not in this alone.
Next Steps
Healing takes time, but every step forward is worth it. You are not broken—you are Scarred & Fabulous. Start with this blog, then for more tools download How To Calm A Chaotic Mind & Find Peace After Surgical Trauma. You will watch yourself grow into the confident, resilient woman you were always meant to be. If you are looking for a community of like-minded courageous women who have chosen to reclaim their power and embrace their scars, we would love to have you join us in the Scarred & Fabulous Women’s Community on Facebook.
